Rae☄️I'm real sorry, but I don't remember who originally linked this article but this is a really good read on self-compassion vs self-esteem
from my own personal experiences, I've gotten much better through self-compassion. It's something I've been focusing on the last couple of months (I still have a loooong way to go) but holy hell does it make things easier. A couple years back I fell into that trap of upping my self-esteem and honestly? It made me a huge asshole. I was so focused on making myself feel better by being better than others in some for or fashion hoping to god it would fix what was wrong with me (it didn't)
I only pushed people away, I kept seeking any source of validation that would raise me even a little bit in some way. Eventually, I fell out of that, a cycle of depressive and manic episodes signaled something more and I wound up finally connecting the dots about me being trans. Thank god I found those resources when I did because if I didn't? I can safely say I wouldn't be here right now
like seriously, self-compassion, treating yourself as you would a friend or a loved one when you're in pain or something has gone wrong makes a huge difference. It's kinda silly, but when things are really bad I'll talk to myself, "It's okay sweetheart, everyone makes mistakes", "just breathe and please get at least a little food and then you can relax and settle down and it'll be okay". Giving yourself the space to make mistakes n understand that's okay, nobody is perfect, things happen
A major difference is, a set back would send me spiraling when I was so focused on self-esteem. With self-compassion and realizing we're all kinda lost and just doing the best we can, I can stop myself and say "hey, it's okay love, things happen, you'll get it next time. Just breathe and relax". I still have a long way to go, and with bi-polar this isn't like a fix by any means, but it's the closest I've gotten to a method that works and it's helped keep my mood swings from destroying me