@Vimes I'll start with you.
The structures here are pre-existing, so really there is no entirely above-board reason for me to show up and start poking around. But I am still going to.
I may have bitten off more than I can chew with this one, though. It isn't any kind of archaeological discovery I have made, and I am not exactly sure who one calls in this situation. In the crawlspace under your house I found the lair of a tiny dragon.
@Vimes You cant really call an exterminator, because tiny dragons are a protected species; and it has already made itself a lair and stored a hoard there, so trying to relocate it will be a lot of work.
It probably wont cause you much trouble, really. Just babyproof your drawers and cabinets and stuff otherwise it will steal all your cutlery. And keep and eye on your keys.
Also, maybe once or twice you could leave some loose change laying around conspicuously for the little guy to take.
@Vimes You know, dont make it seem like charity, either make it seem like he is outwitting you and stealing your pennies; or make it seem like an offering you would make to a much larger dragon.
I think it would be a real boost to the tiny dragon's self-confidence.
ptero