[Infomercial Mom looks on disapproving as Comically Useless Dad fails at yet another simple household chore. Perhaps he accidentally tries to cram a waffle in the slowcooker. The audience thinks he is a fool, as does his wife. She turns to camera.]

Infomercial Mom: There's just GOT to be a better way!

Me, off camera stage right: And there IS!

[Camera pans across to follow her as she walks to the "live studio audience". I am in a suit, smiling maniacally. The studio is full of Slime Butlers.]