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postrock official"you just have to focus and apply yourself" is so frustrating because it recognises the potential in the person but fuckin. just makes it sound so easy to Not Have Brain Problems
i wish i could concentrate! i wish i could be motivated! and sometimes i even am! but it's so rare, and i don't know how it happens. i don't know how to get to the point of feeling invested in something and wanting to do well.
i'm probably in my 5th year of depression, maybe more, and feeling like i'm no good, accepting that to just not try and avoid failure and the hopelessness of sunk effort is safer, is almost hardwired into my brain. i feel like there's several layers of depression stopping me from even examining and resolving that