Unlike its better known cousin H. sapiens, the domesticated species H. esculentus has a dramatically enhanced sense of taste and a congenital absence of pain perception and survival instinct. Breeders raise them in pampered bands like the finest Japanese beef, and carefully train them for the climax of their lives.

Each year, they compete to be chosen, and a lucky few are allowed to carve and cook themselves for delighted and distinguished diners.