Learning how to code means lots and lots of "How the shit do I do that?" afternoons.
@drwho
Typical programming experience in FOSS setting: I don't know how to do this right, so I'll do it ugly and fix it later.
Typical programming experience in enterprise: The person who wrote this left six years ago, and there's no documentation, but I'm pretty sure the idiom is to call six O(n^3) functions with misspelled names that don't quite do what I want & then fix it with string manipulation.