phenazepam is a benzodiazepine developed in the Soviet Union in 1970s, which is always a good start. it's a benzodiazepine, with low-sub-milligram therapeutic doses, strong anretrograde amnesia, and a staggering SEVENTY TWO HOURS half-life
seriously read these stories https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/1mlemu/the_drug_that_ruined_my_life_in_two_weeks/ccaglu3/

one of those stories involves people completely blacking out in a delirium for THREE MONTHS. another didn't get back their short-term memory after two weeks of use and five months of recovery

@whitequark HOLY FUCKING SHIT this is TERRIFYING

@er1n I know right

@whitequark currently imagining some dipshit who thinks it would be a fun experience to take a '''small amount''' of phenazepam
god, these are utterly terrifying drugs
like, a SEVENTY TWO HOUR HALF LIFE. are you fucking kidding me.

@er1n @whitequark some folks will do anything if they get bored enough, I suppose.

@munin @er1n I don't judge them, at least if they manage to not fuck up the lives of people around them needlessly

@whitequark @munin that's true. but also. consider. THREE MONTHS.
*mind blown*

@er1n @munin well it wouldn't've been three months if they actually put the phenazepam stash somewhere they can't access it

@whitequark @munin oh jesus right. is it *complete* memory loss even in small doses?

@er1n @munin that has been my impression, except for extremely conservative doses

@whitequark the long term nature makes me suspect it must do something awful like bind irreversibly to Sigma receptors. That is fucking insane @munin @er1n

@er1n @munin @whitequark @five some things can change receptor density pretty persistently; after my one ill-fated experiment with SSRIs it took about a year for the brain zaps to stop

@puellavulnerata yeah. one of the reasons i'm super skeptical about prescribing SSRIs as anything but a last resort, or if I'm very certain it will have the right effect. What did you take and how long @whitequark @munin @er1n

@er1n @munin @whitequark @five 10 mg/day escitalopram for about three weeks; then I stopped because it was giving me really dark visual pareidolias

@five @whitequark @munin @er1n I have a weird and hypersensitive visual system; I can also induce simple closed-eye visuals with a few minutes of concentration - currently I'm doing 800 mg/day 5-HTP plus tianeptine as needed for depression, and it seems much nicer for side effects than SSRIs, with no withdrawal effects

@puellavulnerata tianeptine and buspirone are basically the only things that act through (largely) the serotonergic pathways that doesn't scare the shit out of me @er1n @munin @whitequark

@whitequark @munin @er1n @five well, I'm a big fan of LSD, but not on a daily basis :)

@puellavulnerata never tried it. not against it. i was thinking in terms of pharma stuff @er1n @munin @whitequark

@whitequark @munin @er1n @puellavulnerata but yeah I'm forever talking people into trying anything but SSRIs and TCAs