Ok, just to sum it up for those following along at home:
NordVPN: confidence scam, the Raid: Shadow Legends of VPNs
Surfshark: owned by NordVPN
Mozilla VPN: reseller of Mullvad
Tailscale: partners with Mullvad
ExpressVPN: Israeli
Private Internet Access: ditto
ZenMate VPN: ditto
CyberGhost VPN: ditto
Windscribe: edgy branding, transphobic, uses slurs on social media
ProtonVPN: sponsors French fascists
MullvadVPN: donates millions to Swedish fascists

am I missing any?

e: if you are here looking for ones you SHOULD use, these were recommended to me and seem to check out:
https://vpn.ccrypto.org
https://njal.la
or self-host your own:
https://amnezia.org/self-hosted

CCrypto VPN

CCrypto VPN is an affordable, fast, anonymous and secure VPN service

@tael while im aware of the awfulness of all of the rest, the only thing I know about NordVPN is that they sponsor youtubers to a suspicious degree. How are they a confidence scam?
@tael I’ve tried to nose about what their story is a few times over the years, but never found anything
@Lingmops They are terrible from a privacy perspective (joint ownership of NordVPN and Oxylabs, conflict of interest), they lie about what the use case for a VPN is (to the point they have gotten in trouble with the courts), they blow tons of money on marketing (never a good signal for a VPN), and they have previously been breached multiple times.
@tael @Lingmops I read nord uses clients computers as end point at some occasions. How bad can you go?