Yesterday I was wondering why I was feeling so bleak and irritable. When I finally sat down and interrogated it I realized I was feeling sad. I was rejected this week and it made me sad and stirred up old feelings about past rejections. Pretending it didn't bother me just drove those feelings into my subconscious. I still felt them, but not in a productive way.
I'm no good at it, but this is what I've been working on: feeling my feelings.
1/
I wonder if part of it is that I think in words (very much so) and feelings are an internal experience that I don't always have good words for.
I have the same struggle with learning physical skills. There often aren't words for how to move the right muscles in the right ways. It's an experience that takes movement, practice, and visualization.
Is there an analog for feelings? Maybe I can visualize these internal experiences and practice the "movement" of them.
2/
My therapist often asks me, Where do you feel that feeling in your body? Answering that question feels weird but oddly helpful. It makes it more tangible, something I can get a grip on. Maybe visualizing it can help in a similar way.
Just musing. Rejection sucks. Stuffing my feelings sucks.
I'm going for a run.
/end
Brian Davis
thisisraerae