My needs arent fucking preferences. I did not go to the neurodivergent store and buy AuDHD injection. This is real world, how about you try to listen to us if you don't have these issues? Exhausting.
I am willing to accommodate, I have done that all my life. I wish others would do it in return when asked nicely.
@aks I think the crux of the issue is that they just simply don't believe us on the veracity of these needs being needs in the first place.
When trying to relate, they compare our needs to the surface level equivalents within their own experiences.
If I say I can't do phone calls, what comes to mind for them is that they're sometimes a bit nervous about important phone calls. If I say I can't leave the house without noise cancelling headphones, they think about days they prefer to have a bit of peace and quiet, e. g. when they're hungover. If I tell them I can't eat a certain food, they think of the time they disliked the taste of potatoes as a kid.
Since their 'equivalent' experiences are completely optional preferences and minor nuisances at best, they start thinking of us as spoilt, entitled and annoying for not 'compromising on' our 'first world preferences'.
They just don't believe that these things can really be needs, because they can't imagine or understand what that feels like. Even if they say they do – then it's just what they know is the politically correct thing to say. But internally, they still think you could just flip an override switch if you really wanted to.
@schrottkatze @aks Yeah. I was the same, too, actually, hence why I could talk about this so familiarly.
I only really felt a lot of these AuDHD negatives when I was an adult, because before then I had a really good, lenient and supportive childhood. As an adult, suddenly I was painfully made aware of the existence of these needs.
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