For a while now I've been trying to come up with some truly bad programming language ideas (basically combining features from languages I don't like into a behemoth that should never have been born) and here are some of the most horrifying ones I could think of:

Perl 5 combined with Objective-C

A Brainfuck dialect that includes the weird reflective and meta properties of Lisp

Java but with the stability of Node.js

C# but also it's been turned into an Objective-C like

COBOL but with the structure of Pascal

A purely object-oriented Itanium assembly language (the worst form of assembly I can think of with the added hell of Smalltalk).

More suggestions welcome.

#Programminghumor #programming-languages #psychic-damage?