I think perhaps the thing I got punished for the most as a kid could be boiled down to "not being calm".
My parents' Christian beliefs said that even *if* someone was being cruel or unfair, the responsibility of a Christian was basically to tolerate it without complaint.
So if I got upset & raised my voice & wouldn't become calm again, I was "sinning". It did not matter what happened to reach that situation.
This taught my siblings that as long as they didn't cross certain lines, I was always to blame for being "oversensitive." They didn't need to be considerate of me. I needed to learn not to react emotionally to anything they did.
They learned that I did not deserve consideration & that I would be punished for expecting it.
Meanwhile, I didn't even want them punished or shamed for their behavior! I just wanted them to stop saying hurtful things or bossing me around & to apologize when they did.
For the most part it's not that it was extremely severe bullying. It was almost entirely little things that stayed under the radar & didn't cross certain lines.
They basically had the right to hurt me as long as they did it in small ways. They certainly learned they did not have to consider how I would feel about something. I would either go along with them or be punished for not doing so.
Artemis
there is beauty in simplicity