…okay, so admittedly knee bracing is a thing, but i still have no idea what those trapezoidal braces are supposed to be doing…

Prevent the building from racking under wind load. it also helps transfer load downward.

look up metal building cross bracing. Same concept.

…with open trapezoidal braces?..you’re going to translate those racking forces into eccentric loading right at the middle of your the columns, where they’re most vulnerable, and even worse, those moments will be inducing the same rotation throughout the entire structure…

…my hypothesis is that this frame was engineered by a cow who has everyone fooled that he knows what he’s doing…

I mean this exact layout… is a cartoon. This style is normally just stiffeners before you pour the floors and add the walls.