@bencurthoys All due respect, but if someone - anyone - posts a question that looks exactly like a thousand other newbie questions, I don't see why anyone should "do the research" to "avoid the embarrassment" of helping someone who doesn't need it.

Newbie requests for direct lines to God (or in this case Yahoo) are a dime a dozen. If you make a similar request, don't be surprised if people assume you may not be exactly sure what you are talking about and will gently probe the problem space to find out.

That's good of them; not bad. And should you realise you have cast your net too wide, because the responses are not helpful, craft a better question. Don't spit on those who tried to help.