#Shoe companies rebranding as #ai, #beverage companies launching #blockchain... amateurs.
I hearby rebrand as `Crypto Forest`, the all-digital #bank that works for you! Featuring our in-house token $TREEkoinZ. Invest now and watch your dollarydoos 3xpl0de (possibly into green confetti).
_Yet another #crypto bank? WHat does CF offer that the other guyz don't?_
$5 fees. Everything costs $5 regardless of transaction. $5 is $5. Is $5 a lot? sometimes, but at least it will only ever be $5.
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Real HoomanZ: no #ai customer service bots! Call 1-800-CRY-TR33 and you will be connected to Duane, Florence or Debbie in our Shady Pine Seniors Home call center in Willston North Dakota. They may not be able to actually answer your questions or solve your problems, but they'll be a real human being and frankly they love talking to anyone. Also Debbie will have a killer recipe for rhubarb cobbler.
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Data Sekurity: your customer data is safe with us. In fact we don't want it. That wold require setting up a database and we haven't finished the MySQL module in our LAMP Stack For Dummies course yet. But rest assured your digital assets are secure. Assuming Steve can find the Ironkey that the wallet is on. And yes we have a backup on the Iomega Zip drive in my attic.
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Third spruce tree on the left