I know people will look at this and see a pretty picture and that's fine, but for me, even though I feel a small sense of accomplishment and I'm proud of myself for having drawn something at all… it's hard not to also feel incredibly frustrated and disheartened at how much I've lost.

I tried to be slow and deliberate. I tried to pay attention to what I was doing and make something with intention and care. But my body just won't let me… my brain is tired and foggy, and my hands are twitchy and impatient and imprecise. I don't have the same level of fine motor control that I used to, and my brain can't focus long enough to really tease out anatomy and composition the way I know I can. I'm relying on muscle memory and things I know are easy for me, because anything I have to really *work* on is just… too much.

It's so frustrating. I want to do better. I want to so badly. And I know I'm capable of it, if only my body would frickin' let me…!

I feel like a bird who's had their wings clipped… a samurai who can no longer grip their sword… a chef who's lost their sense of taste and smell… a singer who can no longer control their voice… and it just keeps getting harder.

Agh. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself, no worries. I'm doing fine. Just having a rough brain night.

Love to you all! Keep making things. The world needs you.