tobadzistsini1d ago
Vapor curled from the beige tower adorned with various stickers with varying degrees of vulgarity. Wrapped around the gadget was clear, plastic tubing full of a green fluid. Glowing beside it was a vintage CRT, a light-up gamer keyboard, trackball, and a small meowing box.
"Behold!" Nino held up his arms like a ringmaster. "My quantum computer!"
Grover scratched his nose, "No it innt."
"Is too!" 1/x
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"What" Grover's voice was already exhausted, "What makes this 'quantum'?"
Nino leaned his arms across the desk, "Oh, I don't know—" Eyes rolled, "Maybe a little something called science?"
"Fine. But where are the microwave controlling electronics? The QPU interconnects? Deep cooling to stabilize the qubits?"
The computer cheerfully announced, "You got mail!"
Nino stared down his mentor. "Ecto-Cooler for spooky action at a distance. The Schrödinger Box" He pointed to the meowing cube. 2/x
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Grover yanked it open, "There's no poison gas trap. How is the cat..."
"Honeyboy"
Grover stared, "What?"
"His name is Honeyboy and he's 14/10. I love him."
An annoyed orange tabby yowled before dashing away.
"Also why would I poi..."
"Nevermind." Grover drummed his fingers. "This has to be the most #unhinged project ever at WCI."
"Sentient carrots, 1978."
"Fine." Grover pinched the bridge of his nose. "Second most."
Satisfied, Nino parked behind the keyboard and opened a window. 3/x
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Apr 15 at 2:40amWeb
Show threadtobadzistsini1d ago
"Tell me, what makes this a quantum computer again?"
Eyes rolled again, "The Q3000 connects to all parallel versions through the multiverse because someone somewhere must've solved a problem. Very low tech." Nino put an unlit cigarette in his mouth, "Don't worry. Not gonna light it." He glanced at the sprinklers.
It was clear Nino was running Windows 3.11. "Hey, what about that email?"
Nino spoke like he was reading a grocery list, "Oh, Hitler's grandson wants to play chess later." 4/x
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"That tears it!" Grover pushed aside his student and took the helm. Onscreen was an email from [email protected] with the subject "Schach?"
Behind the email window were several image files set against wallpaper depicting a white and green striped flag with a star and crescent moon upon a green canton flapping above a city resembling Washington D.C. but... not?
Grover opened a photo.
It was a female neanderthal orally servicing a mammoth. 5/x
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Doctor Grover Rugevang's eyes welled up then he snorted, wiping snot down his sleeve.
A mad giggle sputtered from his lips before he stormed out of the Corliss building.
"You've got mail!" rung out again.
Nino opened the message from an alternate Rugevang congratulating him upon this ingenious project.
Nino may not be a doctor in this dimension, but at least he has a tenure track somewhere out in the multiverse. 6/6
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