Trying to edit a stupid FCC comment on Yet Another Fucking Stupid Orbital Data Center (fuck you, Blue Origin) and I need to go outside and rage-scream for a while. And I have an easily accessible hayfield to rage-scream in!! (Also maybe baby goats, I'll check for those too #BabyGoatCountdown)

Comments are due to the FCC on Mon for Blue Origin's copycat of SpaceX's fucking stupid orbital data center idea. Comments were due yesterday for the first SpaceX copycat: Starcloud (I hate everything about it, including the name). I was in chaotic travel mode for most of that and so had to rely on colleagues.

Now I have to read these fucking docs to see what bullshit Blue Origin is serving up, so time to rant about it.

Blue Origin wants 51,600 satellites, all in sun-synchronous orbits. That means they'll follow the terminator line around the Earth and be sunlit ALWAYS. They want to distribute them between 500-1,800 km altitude, which means some of them will be sunlit and visible all the time. Fanfuckingtastic.

This is also the exact same set of orbits that both SpaceX and Starcloud want. Sun-synchronous orbits are about to get ridiculously crowded.

"BLUE ORIGIN BACKGROUND" a.k.a. the grandiose greenwashing section. Oh they named this Project Sunrise?! Project Sunrise sounds like a billion times worse than Reflect Orbital...

Whatever it is, at least they didn't name it Project Sunshine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_SUNSHINE

You just never fucking know with these techbro companies...

Project SUNSHINE - Wikipedia

Oh my god the "PUBLIC INTEREST" section is a giant love fest over all the things that AI isn't actually doing. Don't worry guys, if you launch data centers into orbit, they are way greener! There's always solar power in space! Please just ignore all the rocket exhaust, ablation products, and shit hitting the ground... Also the fact that data centers in space are almost certainly physically impossible...

The shitweasels are also asking for waivers! Because the few rules that are left are just too much.

Please don't ask Jeff Bezos to pay a measly million dollar bond in case they don't launch 50% of their sats within 6 years. That would be unfair! Also please don't worry about what radio spectrum we'll use, because we totally promise not to have any interference at all, even though we provide absolutely zero information about how our satellites work!

Oh another one too: Please don't ask us about our debris mitigation plan because the "satellite design is currently being matured" (in other words, they have no fucking clue what the satellites will actually look like or how they will work).

Oh yet another: we totally can't upload our orbital parameter date because the FCC's web form is too crappy! (This part I actually believe. The FCC's website blows.) But come on guys, no orbits?

Oh yeah, didn't submit to the ITU yet either. Of course.

@sundogplanets This reads suspiciously as 'we have no plan, so please give us permission for this epic idea'.