"Your diet is too spicy; try eating bland foods and maybe you'll masturbate less, SINNER!"

https://piefed.social/c/historymemes/p/1978410/your-diet-is-too-spicy-try-eating-bland-foods-and-maybe-you-ll-masturbate-less-sinner

Kelogg’s cornflakes are the worst cornflakes out of the ones I tried honestly
At least the local off-brand is worse, in my neck of the woods. Mushy, no firmness to them even when they’re dry.

I think there are generally two kinds of cereal eaters.

First, there are those who enjoy crunchy cereal. They can’t get enough of putting that hard firm stuff into their mouths. The more extreme will even go so far as to put Grape Nuts in. The milk is almost an afterthought, and sometimes they even put it in dry, just to see what it’s like.

Second, are those who enjoy limp, flaccid cereals. These ones are after the milk more than the cereal, if you know what I mean. They make sure that everything becomes a sloppy mess, and they don’t stop until they can greedily slurp up every drop.

…These ones are after the milk more than the cereal, if you know what I mean. They make sure that everything becomes a sloppy mess, and they don’t stop until they can greedily slurp up every drop.

are we still talking about cereal?

What else could we possibly be talking about?
Oh you need to be careful with those kinds of thoughts. If you fetishize cereal, then what could you eat to control your sexual urges?