Mastodawn

Helping out some of my kids’ friends with tech, and once again am reminded that domestic abuse is absolutely the flagship threat model in this industry, the place the victim is closest to real physical harm and has the least recourse and resources available to them. The hardest problem, almost totally unaddressed, exaggerated when the victim is underage.

Listen, if your kid trusts you enough to ask for a burner, help them. Wipe your old phone or find something cheap, teach them about threat models, private browsing and factory reset, then teach them how to teach these things to other people. The only question you need to ask is, is this for you or for someone else, and you don’t ask who or why.

You don’t need to make the first conversation perfect, you need to make the next conversation possible.

Nullstring 🏴‍☠️2d ago

💀 𝓕airchild 💀2d ago

@mhoye @emma I'm reminded of a friend, whose name totally escapes me for legal reasons, who explained to her teenage kids what Plan B was - an over the counter emergency contraceptive - how it worked and then absolutely did not give it to them b/c, as noted, legal reasons.

She may also have noted in passing where it was kept and that she had no idea how many were there should they or their friends accidentally take one.

Don Hawkins - W7DAH 1d ago

@mhoye Dated now, but was an interesting listen back-in-the-day.

potion_genderqueer

@donhawkins wow, it's *been a minute* since I heard the name Mitnick.... @mhoye

Andrew C. Dingman 1d ago

@mhoye I've been dropping breadcrumbs about how to evade surveillance in front of my kid forever. Some has gotten through. Not enough, but not nothing. And yeah, if they ever ask me about burners, the only questions will be about the stuff I need to balance threat models.

potion_genderqueer

@mhoye And if both you and they are up for it, teach them about alternate OSes for their phones... (I'm >< this close to re-OSing one of mine... )

Lady Artemis 1d ago

@stonebear2 @mhoye

My son recently set up his FOSS phone. I can't give much better detail than that, but those who know will know, and for those who don't - it is not an apple or an android or a windows phone. Nokia doesn't have an OS, right? If they do, it isn't that either.

He has zero log-ins for apps & accounts of any kind (except his mastodon account). He's actually pretty fantastic & groovy, my kid, but also, he's been willing to help others achieve the same!

@missladyartemis @stonebear2 I wish more people would internalize the idea that using free software per se is not the same as helping people. Saying “You should install Linux” to somebody dealing with a domestic abuse situation is ignorant and insulting, it is deliberately, sanctimoniously unhelpful.

potion_genderqueer

(1) for most computers, it's not that hard.

(2) and for some it is; I just spent eight hours helping somebody get their refurbished box working. Money, mouth, co-located.

(3) There are often middle-ground solutions for extenuating circumstances, and I do recommend'em when I have specifics enough to do so correctly.

It strikes me as "sanctimonious" to _use that word_ at someone you don't know who is _actually_ trying to make the world better and not just wash my hands of the problem.

I invite you to consider asking questions before resorting to a convenient dismissal.

@missladyartemis

@stonebear2 @missladyartemis

"(1) for most computers, it's not that hard."

The domestic abuse scenario involves people who do not have control of their own hardware and are at physical risk of immediate violence from the people who do control it. You might as well be telling somebody whose parachute won't open mid-jump that _actually_ replacement parachutes are very affordable.

Lady Artemis 15h ago

@mhoye @stonebear2

He is willing to help people away from corporate overlord cell phone control. I was not commenting that he is helping people with domestic abuse problems. However, I do believe FOSS software could help in some of those situations. Having apps that are not tracking you or having the better ability to control your software could definitely help!

I appreciate you sharing your concern. That is a point to make. Frankly, any departure from corporate overlords is a boon to us all.

selfhosting.couchsurfing 2d ago

@mhoye I tried so hard with my nieces and got no uptake 😔

Kofi Loves Efia

@mhoye domestic abuse is also depressingly *likely*

The Flight Attendant 1d ago