Stefano Marinelli

Yesterday someone told me they're considering buying a coffee machine with "AI features".

In my head, a little thought bubble popped up, like Homer Simpson when he’s thinking:
- "Machine, make me a coffee."
- "Sure! Here’s your coffee!"

Inside: a mix of coffee, tea, chocolate, gear oil, and leftovers from a 1986 birthday dinner.

- "Machine, this isn’t coffee! It’s disgusting! You've poisoned me!"
- "You’re right. If you'd like, I can give you the number for poison control, or, if it's too late, for a funeral home."

I replied: "Personally, I prefer making my coffee myself."

#CoffeeMaking #Opinions #Hype

Apr 11 at 7:30amWeb
Show threadAndreas (82MHz)Apr 11
@stefano
😂 oh boy...
That reminds me of the Nutrimatic Tea Dispenser from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which produces a drink that's almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea 😉
Show threadArmin HanischApr 11
@82mhz @stefano Late 2016. A store specialized in portafilters and barista stuff in our city. Me: „I‘d iike to buy a good portafilter. I want steel, copper, valves, electromechanics. No computer stuff, positively no internet, absolutely no app shit!“
Shop guy: „You’re working in the iT sector?“
😎😂😂
Show threadAndreas (82MHz)Apr 11

@Linkshaender
😂 he knows his customers!

Years ago my sister bought a fully automatic coffee machine with bluetooth connectivity. Her idea was to put a cup under the coffee machine in the evening, go to bed and then in the morning tell the machine via bluetooth from the bedroom to make a nice cup of coffee, so it would be ready when she got up.

Problem was, when you tell the machine to make a coffee after being idle for a certain amount of time, the first thing it does is flush a bunch of dirt water out, which then ends up in the cup. So you HAVE to stand next to the machine, even when you start it via bluetooth. Engineering fail 🤦‍♂️

@stefano

Show threadThorsten ZöllerApr 11
@stefano This is hilarious (well, sort of...)! I'm already becoming skeptical when things like coffee machines have displays. Coffee machines with AI features is just, well - April Fools' Day is already over, isn't it?
Show threadStefano MarinelliApr 11
@thorstenzoeller I wish it was 😆
Show threadStephen BorrillApr 11
@stefano I'm sure a wiley marketing exec would (incorrectly) describe my coffee machine as having AI features. It machine-learns what coffees I tend to drink and creates a favourites list. It has some feature where allegedly it'll learn how you like a particular type of bean to be ground and brewed. Its app comes up with bizarre recipes that hallucinate what ingredients I have on the cupboard. It must hate that I always just walk up and press Flat White
Show threadStefano MarinelliApr 11
@sborrill well played! Confusing the machine is the best way to keep staying sane!
Show threadThomasApr 11

@stefano People who are enthusiastic about "AI" (and think a stochastic model is really "intelligent") reveal a lot about their own capacity.

Here's what's more likely behind the thought bubble of people who buy a coffee machine because "AI"...

Show threadUkeleleEricApr 11
@stefano I dunno which is more worrisome - a coffee maker with real AI, or a coffee maker that is being presented as having AI that actually doesn't, and is a demonstration of how advertising execs think that is so positive. Tbh, a lot of the work of making coffee would still have to come down to the individual, anyway. And having a plethora of choices doesn't improve things. (The majority of washing machines have 30+ programs, and the majority of people use only 4)
Show threadJames SewardApr 11

@stefano you put in a cartridge containing tiramisu and it wrings out the coffee into a cup

Aww, I made myself sad

Show threadLaurent CimonApr 11
@stefano AI is making IoT even worse