You make an appointment with a “efficiency coach” to improve your life. Of course, you show up on time, but the office seems strangely empty. A tiny voice “down here!”
There is a tiny desk in the corner of the room and there sits your “efficiency coach” — she is an ant, of course.
“I’ve been looking at your file” she says pushing up her tiny spectacles, “there are so many areas for improvement! You are a very exciting case.”
“Let’s start with the basics how many are you?”
“I’m 45 years old.” you say, wondering where this is all going.
“No no no!” squeaks the coach “how many are you! how many of you are there in your colony!”
This, you reflect is a surprisingly hard question. Do you count your extended family? Your cat? Maybe everyone in the city counts.
The coach seems unamused. “how can you not know something so basic and important!” she squeaks.
"Well ... I suppose it's just me." You say, going for the least confusing answer.
"ooooh" sighs the coach "How romantic! A young queen out on her own. It must be so thrilling! And it explains why you're so HUGE." then pulling herself together a bit "It is very wise of you to think of efficiency right from the start of your empire."
"I don't think--" You try to interject.
"Now don't you worry. I have lots of plans perfect for you. BUT. First you must tell me about your nuptial flight."
And with that the little efficiency coach rests her head on her palms as if waiting to be told a thrilling story, gazing at you expectantly.
"I..." you stammer. But somehow she just stares MORE.
"Go on tell me. What was it like?"
myrmepropagandist
Andy L.