Dreamt a local museum had a piece of art by a Jeff Koons-esque artist. I thought the artist's work, like Koons', was unartistic schlock. I decided to do something about it.

First i pocketed a small display model of the art from the museum lobby. It was a 3D sculpture of the traditional Disney Winnie the Pooh, except covered with a pattern of vertical stripes in bright bronze and dark, patinaed bronze.

But that wasn't enough. I needed to steal the full size sculpture, too, and concocted a plan. I got an old man who could operate a crane and gave him a story to tell:

According to his story, the museum board had decided that art should not always cloistered in the halls of a museum, so, for summer, they were moving some of the bigger pieces out into city parks. The old man was there to pick up the Winnie the Pooh sculpture, which sat in a plaza adjacent to the museum for moving to a park.

Our actual plan was to take the sculpture to a warehouse where we could hide it from the public.

As i expected, as soon as he lifted the sculpture with his crane, a port police officer patrolling the area (the museum was on the waterfront) came over to see what was going on. The old man gave him the spiel, and it was working until the cop saw that the large claw that was lifting the artwork had accidentally punctured through one of Winnie's eyes.

The officer said that looked like a problem and that he was going to go check with the museum staff about how they wanted to handle documenting the damage.

The old man put the sculpture down. We knew our plan was cooked. As soon as the officer disappeared inside, we fled.