It took me a long time to realize how valuable this approach is: when you're verbally giving someone a question for the first time, even if you think it might be trivial or an obvious answer, give them permission to think about it. "You don't have to answer this right away."
I've basically made it a habit. At the very worst, it's just a little unnecessary. But at best, it eases tension and leaves space for a more considered response.
Follow up: sound obvious?
Well, I shared this because, even though it probably seems obvious to some people...it wasn't obvious to ME for a long time. I myself am usually pretty quick to answer questions. Sometimes that's just "thinking out loud", other times it's just, "yeah I've already thought about this question and know my answer".
Of course, I know the quick answer isn't always the *right* answer! And now I'm just being more accommodating to others who take a different approach.
Mike Dolbow
Ryan Hyde