The Association also notes, with professional displeasure, that Trump has complicated the observer problem. In the original experiment, opening the box collapses the superposition because the act of observation forces the cat into a binary reality. But in our current “experiment,” we are all helpless observers to the whims of an unchecked madman, and it simply feels like reality is collapsing around us.

(We have submitted a paper on this phenomenon. It was rejected.)

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It is worth noting that this new line of inquiry has led the Association to revise its view of Erwin Schrödinger’s original cat. The cat's superposition, we now believe, is not a paradox but an achievement. Undisturbed by observation, the cat exists in an extremely stable quantum state: shut away in a box, unaware that any of this shit is happening.

The cat is not subject to collapse, nor is it subject to Truth Social. By our current measurements, this is the optimal quantum condition.

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