Reminder to myself that if I have a friend or family member who treats me differently when I don’t meet their very exacting standards, they’re not healthy for me, and trying to meet their standards isn’t, either.
I must meet my own standards and adhere to my own ethics, and do what is within my own capacity as faithfully and consistently as I can.
You might need this reminder, too.
@adhdeanasl As far as I am concerned one of the most damaging sayings in my home culture is "blood runs thicker than water".
That is that family bonds are stronger than the bonds you make with the friends you choose to spend time with.
Well they are not.
If you have a friend who causes you harm consistently then you end the relationship.
If one of your family members causes you harm consistently then you end the relationship.
@the_wub @adhdeanasl Fun fact about that often misused phrase is that it's an abbreviation that completely changes the original meaning.
The real saying is "The blood /of the covenant/ runs thicker than water /of the womb/." -- the acknowledgement that you can't choose who you're born to, but you can choose who you befriend and ally with, and who'll stand with you when the chips are down is more important than who you're biologically related to.
@shadur @adhdeanasl Which indeed is the exact opposite of the way the shorterned version has been used my whole life.
The full version is also exactly how I regard family relationships in my big scheme of things.
Edit : Although I would say that the short version of the saying is "correctly used" rather than "misused" as that is what it has come to mean and that is how it is used.
ADHDeanASL
Eggs now in different baskets.
Rens