David ChartierI respect it
Galactic Stone@chartier During the early pandemic and lockdowns, there was a Florida Man satire account here on Mastodon that posted regularly and was funny. It vanished after a year or so and I hadn't thought about it again until now.
Scary Austin@galacticstone @chartier
This is another one from the Dude Humor Report, which tries to parody Florida Man stories. While they are certainly funny, it's just not possible to parody Florida (Wo)man. Everybody believes the stories.
This is another one from the Dude Humor Report, which tries to parody Florida Man stories. While they are certainly funny, it's just not possible to parody Florida (Wo)man. Everybody believes the stories.
Chris Hayes@MaryAustinBooks @galacticstone @chartier that account is actually the source of the original post for this one: https://www.instagram.com/p/DWjaQIXmknU
The Dude Humor Report on Instagram: "MALL BUCCANEER: FLORIDA WOMAN BUSTED FOR KAYAKING IN SHOPPING MALL FOUNTAIN WHILE DRESSED AS A PIRATE Shoppers expecting sales and soft pretzels instead got a full maritime takeover. A Florida woman is facing charges after allegedly launching a kayak into a mall fountain, dressing like a pirate, and shouting orders at confused shoppers as if she were captaining a vessel through hostile waters. Witnesses say the woman paddled laps through the decorative fountain, barking commands and playing the role with total commitment — eye patch, attitude, and all. Mall security reportedly hesitated at first, unsure whether they were witnessing a mental health episode, an unpaid performance, or the world’s most aggressive community theater audition. Authorities eventually intervened, ending what may go down as the shortest pirate cruise in retail history. No injuries were reported, though several shoppers allegedly left questioning reality and reconsidering future mall visits. Experts confirm pirates are not authorized to commandeer fountains — even in Florida. Set sail or seek help. Preferably the second. What say you, internet? #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY"
4,775 likes, 236 comments - thedudehumorreport on March 31, 2026: "MALL BUCCANEER: FLORIDA WOMAN BUSTED FOR KAYAKING IN SHOPPING MALL FOUNTAIN WHILE DRESSED AS A PIRATE Shoppers expecting sales and soft pretzels instead got a full maritime takeover. A Florida woman is facing charges after allegedly launching a kayak into a mall fountain, dressing like a pirate, and shouting orders at confused shoppers as if she were captaining a vessel through hostile waters. Witnesses say the woman paddled laps through the decorative fountain, barking commands and playing the role with total commitment — eye patch, attitude, and all. Mall security reportedly hesitated at first, unsure whether they were witnessing a mental health episode, an unpaid performance, or the world’s most aggressive community theater audition. Authorities eventually intervened, ending what may go down as the shortest pirate cruise in retail history. No injuries were reported, though several shoppers allegedly left questioning reality and reconsidering future mall visits. Experts confirm pirates are not authorized to commandeer fountains — even in Florida. Set sail or seek help. Preferably the second. What say you, internet? #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY".