Ariadne Conill 🐰
IQ and other psychometric assessments are not actually backed by hard science but vibes
so when someone brags about having a "genius level IQ", just write them off as a narcissist
sincerely, your local psychologist turned software engineer
✧✦Catherine✦✧@ariadne what does a psychologist say about narcissism anyway
i've seen probably every possible take on the internet by now
@whitequark its complicated, I think in a lot of situations narcissistic behavior develops out of self loathing and the discovery that they can self soothe through maladaptive behavior
@ariadne that's useful and reasonable but i was thinking about something different
i think in practice i've mostly seen "narcissist" be used as an insult and as a leverage in an attack. this made it really hard historically to figure out how, if at all, one can make good conclusions about that type of behavior and its observations
@ariadne if someone tells me "X is a narcissist" I don't have any tools to find out if there's truth to it or they just really don't like X
asie@whitequark @ariadne
i think it's pretty hard for an unqualified person to conclusively diagnose someone from a distance; harder, even, than self-diagnosis.
flip side: is there a meaningful difference between "narcissist" and "unlikable/best to avoid, but in a non-narcissistic way" in day to day social life?
i think it's pretty hard for an unqualified person to conclusively diagnose someone from a distance; harder, even, than self-diagnosis.
flip side: is there a meaningful difference between "narcissist" and "unlikable/best to avoid, but in a non-narcissistic way" in day to day social life?
@asie @ariadne last time I was dealing with a (presumably) narcissist they've convinced a friend that she (friend) has weeks to live due to advanced heart disease, all based on an extreme degree of bullshit but one that you wouldn't know how to tell from truth without some training in cardiology. it was not pleasant, and it was most certainly not something I could have simply avoided (indeed I've tried doing exactly that in first place)
@whitequark @ariadne
i'm not sure if that's specific to narcissism. i think there are other mental glitches and/or disorders which can get you to that same point. which is my point, though perhaps expressed poorly - there are better ways to describe harmful, dangerous people than borrowing psychology terms in a pop cultural kind of way. such as calling them "harmful" or "dangerous".
i'm not sure if that's specific to narcissism. i think there are other mental glitches and/or disorders which can get you to that same point. which is my point, though perhaps expressed poorly - there are better ways to describe harmful, dangerous people than borrowing psychology terms in a pop cultural kind of way. such as calling them "harmful" or "dangerous".
@whitequark @ariadne right, i see
@asie @ariadne I also don't think "dangerous" is... a useful term here? anything worthwhile is dangerous. talking to me as you're doing right now is dangerous. there's a difference between mere danger and active, focused malice—frequently under the guise of help—which is really the issue I have moreso
@asie @whitequark yes, "know it all" behavior is a common expression of narcissism.
I hope your friend listens to the experts and follows their guidance...
princess pancake 
@[email protected] @asie @ariadne That's a subset of a subset though
Most people don't spend days finding our address, harassing peers into getting in touch with us, socially engineering and buying pwned information to tell us they own us and will destroy us if we spend time with people who actually care about us
For it to get this bad it's intentionally left unchecked for years or decades
Most people don't spend days finding our address, harassing peers into getting in touch with us, socially engineering and buying pwned information to tell us they own us and will destroy us if we spend time with people who actually care about us
For it to get this bad it's intentionally left unchecked for years or decades
@asie @whitequark @ariadne Doesn't that, in a way, make it a vibes-based personality assessment? Narcissistic traits are pretty common and many people work on theirs, so yeah I'd argue it's in practice a synonym for a "bad person"
@whitequark @asie yes. narcisstic personality disorder has very specific diagnostic criteria.
the generalized version is antisocial personality disorder, which is largely a catch-all.
LisPi@asie @ariadne @whitequark I think it's the modern equivalent of "pompous asshole", which is preferable to "narcissistic" because it doesn't misuse a mental illness (or any number of other descriptors) as an insult.
@whitequark oh yes, it has definitely become an insult in pop culture