Him: Let's exchange phone numbers.
Her: Won't that confuse people trying to call us?

@lemonlolita @kibcol1049 I see what you are saying. I am curious what change would make it non misogynistic?

Like if it were two hims, two hers, two theys etc

@lifewithtrees @lemonlolita @kibcol1049

It's not misogynist -- which means hating women.

It's heteronormative -- which means assuming heterosexuality as a default.

It's also extremely funny, and I read it out loud to my partner with the suggestion that a person with that style of wit is attractive for that alone.

@dashdsrdash @lifewithtrees @lemonlolita @kibcol1049

Do you mean it's heteronormative if it pictures the woman as the one who misunderstands?

@sibrosan @lifewithtrees @lemonlolita @kibcol1049

I think it's quite clear that "she" did not misunderstand. She understood exactly what was meant and came up with a humorous reply, which can be used to gauge "his" sense of humor.

Folks are also correct that this is all in the mind of the reader. Words are great that way.

@dashdsrdash @sibrosan @lemonlolita @kibcol1049 I would argue that it’s not clear, as it’s open to interpretation.

For example, I read it as one of those blonde jokes my dad would tell, likely due to being exposed to a lot of them as a kid. The misogyny was coming from inside the house for me (internalized misogyny)

I have more work to do in this area, especially as a queer person. I have to do the same with unpacking my own internalized homophobia too

@lifewithtrees @dashdsrdash @lemonlolita @kibcol1049

OK, but suppose you switched "him" and "her", would the joke work exactly the same? I would argue not for most. There is some gender confirmation bias there.

@sibrosan @lifewithtrees @dashdsrdash @lemonlolita I think it would still work very well. Have you considered the bias may lie with you?
@kibcol1049 @sibrosan @dashdsrdash @lemonlolita no matter what it’s switched to it’ll pull some bias or feeling because gender is a social construct in the end
@kibcol1049 @sibrosan @lifewithtrees @dashdsrdash @lemonlolita
The joke to me seems not about gender-bias, but more about neurodivergence

@kibcol1049 @lifewithtrees @dashdsrdash @lemonlolita

"Still works very well" is different from "works exactly the same"...

And besides that I don't pretend to be free of bias, there's no need to make this about me.