FKFTSHi feel like the whole "once you break up with someone you cut them off forever" thing is a very consumerist approach to relationships. like people are just romantic products to consume, and as soon as you decide they don't fit your use case you discard them altogether like yesterday's garbage
it's like we view romance as like a box to check off as opposed to a natural evolution of a deeply meaningful relationship. we don't connect with people, we connect with *potential partners*. and if we break up, well, they only had one use to us, so...
some of my best friends are people i've dated in the past. because when i have an actual strong platonic relationship with someone, that doesn't just go away if we try romance and realize we don't work together that way.
also, like, it's fucking exhausting! i've been in dozens of relationships. you're telling me i'm supposed to put weeks - months - years of my life into a person and then just ditch all of the energy and love i put into that person? over and over again? that sounds really fucking inefficient to me!
like i dunno man. just try forming relationships with people that transcend the boxes you want them to fill. people are messy and complicated and your relationships with them are gonna be messy and complicated too. that's what makes them real.
ZenHeathen 🇨🇦@fuckfetish I totally feel this entire thread.
(I have just now deleted about two pages of text I had typed. When this topic comes up... I have a lot to say. But it's too much, I'll save it. Yes--people are messy, and we should value our connections a little more than we do, allow the connections and the people to change and grow--and shrink, sometimes--because that's life. And our connections with others are the best part of life.)
CalmPresence@fuckfetish I think it is also about tolerance for complex and conflicting emotions. Of course you're going to feel awkward for a bit with someone when you used to have one kind of relationship with them and you're not sure what kind of relationship you now have with them. Or when they've done something that hurt you. Or when you've done something that hurt them.
@fuckfetish I think that relationship awkwardness or discomfort is a part of the human experience. But in this electronically connected age, it is tempting to try to avoid it by just severing the connection.