SmutMagDotArt2d ago

If I get up at an open mic and play guitar and just really suck ass--play all of the wrong notes, strings buzzing, timing off...do you think I'm gonna stroll over to the best guitar player in the place and try to teach him how to play? Tell him what he needs to do to improve? And when he gets defensive say, "Hey, man, I'm just trying to help you develop?"

Then WHY THE FUCK does this happen to me as a singer every fucking time I do an open mic or a jam or fucking karaoke?

I KNOW WHY.

Show threadBytebro 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 🇬🇱2d ago

@smutmag

Been there! Some people literally can't help themselves. Kind of an IRL version of the 'reply guy', no?

Show threadSmutMagDotArt2d ago
@bytebro Absolutely. Coupled with a kind of daddy thing (even if they're younger than me!). They think I'm a body and a voice that spontaneously generated and they just want to be the dude who turns me into their fantasy. That they can't figure out how to make music with their mouths somehow has them believing that their brains must be superior or pov more honed--which is mental gymnastics I cannot understand. They can't imagine that I practiced or made choices or maybe even know more than them.
Show threadBytebro 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 🇬🇱

@smutmag

I used to get similar, when I was a chorister in a choir of about 150 voices... This was actually one reason I gave it up - performing was *wonderful*, and then some presumably well-meaning muppet would spoil it by telling me all about how much better it 'could have been'! Aargh!

Apr 4 at 2:30pmWeb
Show threadSmutMagDotArt2d ago
@bytebro I'm not talking about naysaying criticism. I'm talking about people saying, "That was the best thing I've ever heard, now you need someone who knows what to do with it, and that person is me, a person who just got up and proved I know nothing about singing. But that's because I'm a REAL musician. Please sing the songs I demand, on demand, and move your mouth like this."
Show threadSmutMagDotArt2d ago
@bytebro They tell themselves that unlike other music, they can't sing because they simply can't. It's not because they didn't study it or practice 8 hours a day like they did with guitar. It's because singers--particularly women who sing well--just open their mouths and heaven falls out--in a totally brainless activity. To them, singing has nothing to do with real music. They, a person who owns an instrument, is therefore the boss of you now, and automatically superior.
Show threadmirabilos2d ago

@smutmag @bytebro 🤯

The body is a moody instrument that does take some practice to use well. And the difference between even somewhat trained amateurs and professionals is astonishing still.