Now we don’t even need toolbars for this experience. The websites do it for us.
This statement is hyperbole, back then was actual hell

Ads? Privacy popups? Newsletter popups? Autoplay self-resizing videos?

Sure, coming across a site that does all is luckily not too easy.

At least I don’t remember it being back when I raw-dogged the web.

Toolbars were a user choice and most weren’t rootkits, so you could disable them from a standardized browser interface or like any other app on your system.

Can you do such a thing with the modern stuff on Chrome or vanilla Firefox?