Tavern’s Closed
Tavern’s Closed
A favourite prank - True Story:
Guy from Québec goes to southern US for work. Thick accent and very catholic. Befriends locals, but finds the trope about ignorance to be … deserved.
At bar after work, locals try to explain Christianity to him. He plays dumb EXPERTLY.
Merican - So Jesus died for our sins and came back to life.
Qué: Like le zombie?
Merican: Well, no. Not like that. But he showed his friends the holes in his hands to prove it was him and he really died.
Qué: Yes! Like zombie. Wounds on hands from 'ow he died and fleshrotting off face…
Merican: No no nothing like that.
Qué: But he died. (Yup) For real. (Yup) But got back up. (yes) With wounds. (Yes). So 'ow eez dis not like le zombie?
Merican: I’m just not explaining it well. (Story goes on) Gets to transubstantiation. Take this bread and eat of my flesh. Take this cup and drink of my blood … and you shall have everlasting life.
Qué: Yes! You See. Like le zombie! He eat your flesh. I see many movie like this.
Merican: No! Sorry, I’m not explaining it well. Jesus doesn’t eat your flesh. He wants you to eat his.
Qué: Ohhh! I see now. Everlasting life? (Yes) So zombie Jesus feed you his flesh and blood, so you turn into zombie like him? Are all Americain in zis zombie cult?
Merican: 😬🥵