When I was meeting my girlfriend (now wife’s) friends for the first time I went to go pee in the washroom, and my pee did that thing when it shoots out in 5 different directions. Got some on my pants. Luckily I spilled some coffee on my pants earlier that say (I know, rough say) so I just let them think it was that.

I once shat my pants at work after drinking too much coffee and left a little stain on the chair. After my shift I swapped the chair with one from a morbidly obese coworker, who was absent that day.

Either everybody knew or nobody knew.

I’ll tell you something embarrassing about a guy I dated instead.

This was some time ago and I only dated him for like 2 months.

I can’t recall exactly what happened but I think he clogged my toilet and I used the plunger and qtips came up and I was like.

“Why did you flush qtips. ?”

And then it came out that he uses q tips to clean his butt after a dump.

Yes you heard me.

Q tips.

And he said something about his mom saying it was okay to flush them.

Which I then realized his mom taught him to clean his butt hole with qtips.

And …this had me thinking all sorts of weird things about their relationship.

He was definitely a momma’s boy. But maybe a little extreme.

For instance his mother managed his bank account. Made sure his truck payment was made every month. (We were both in our mid 20s). He still lived with his parents but he was finishing up electrician school.That seemed okay since he was in school. 🤷

And so this guy , btw, was like 6ft 5. He was huge in height. (I’m 5ft 3).

His mom was my size and he would like sit in her lap on the sofa. Like he would sit in front of her on the floor and cuddle him. You know. I thought that was weird. But every family has weird quirks. Plus men who have good relationships with their moms are less likely to be misogynist.

He did introduce me to some great books like Raw Shark Text and Blindsight (two of my top favorite books) And that almost made it worth dating him.

He was just a weirdo. And when I broke up with him he asked me to marry him. (2 months of dating).

Just…no.