Behold this most serious paper, in submission to Acta Prima Aprilia. A three-way collaboration with @[email protected], myself & Laura Revell 🛰️🐄🤠🔭

Cow-culation: Reentry Impact R...
Cow-culation: Reentry Impact Risk to Livestock in the Satellite Megaconstellation Era

The commercial space industry is launching more satellites into Low Earth Orbit every year. Aotearoa New Zealand (NZ) has a thriving dairy and cattle industry. Unfortunately, these industries could come into (high speed) cow-llision, as the rapid launch rate and short operational lifetimes of satellites in megaconstellations like Starlink result in a high reentry rate at NZ's latitudes. This could intersect with NZ's famously large population of livestock. We predict this will be an udder disaster for any cows that are hit, as they are squishy and moo-ve much more slowly than space debris. Using a global bovine density dataset, previously published satellite casualty probability code, and a complete lack of funding to do this calculation carefully enough for submission to a peer-reviewed journal, we calculate a $\simeq 0.3-1% chance of a cow-sualty in NZ from reentering Starlink Gen2 debris over the next 5 years.

arXiv.org
This started from a casual comment during @[email protected]'s visit here as an Erskine Fellow, when we have been chatting A Lot about satellite constellation issues. And also farming
New Zealand is often known for its sheep, but cows are one of our major areas of agriculture, and dominate vast amounts of the national focus
Indeed, at times it is unclear if the national funding system would like us to understand anything, if it does not immediately involve a cow Challenge accepted
There was a lot of fun in this, from adding the actual number of footnotes that are right and proper, together with having tabs ranging from whale velocities to cow size distributions to launch permit specifications
Creating this also helped a lot at an incredibly difficult time. Grief remains nonlinear, but he'd have liked this one.