Holden GreenI run. I feel good. The way I feel running has changed...
I realize I am moving too fast doing too much too soon ordering pills n sht on Amazon...
I feel good and exercise well because of the changes I've been making gradually but now the pace may be accelerating too fast...
I'm not completely 'stable' right now and spending too much money online is a sign of that...
But I'm hungry. I'm hungry for knowledge and to figure my brain and body, maybe life too out...
But I don't have infinite resources or time to mess and and then try to fix it... that's kinda a problem... I'm already running into this problem...
I might need to slow down and find something else to do... this stuff is a little too exciting for me...
And I'm driving myself a little crazy with social media and AI...
Those things'll do that and that's something to watch for...
Maybe i need to find something else to do like take a class at community college... not commit to a degree or anything but a single class, maybe two could help... that way I'm doing something in person... slower paced...
Or I need to find something to do...
Rather than driving myself crazy talking to ai and social media and spending too much online about things to put in my body that the ai says is safe but who knows if the ai knows what its talking about or if I know... (when im already sorta functioning just bored enough to want to spend all my time talking to the AI and even build an AI workstation not knowing where that's gonna lead me...)
I wonder what I could do... don't really wanna go to church... I learned from social media that there is such thing as a 'kpop rave' in sacramento but who knows how safe that is really...
If I don't have anything to do then how do I regulate myself? Stop myself from spiraling...
Well I could code... that has the advantage of potentially getting me a job...
That's sorta the path I'm going down more and more already... I can just get out of control and having just ran I see how that was starting to happen...
I'm starting to have the impulse to start remodeling my space...
Starting by moving where I sleep then clearing out the whole center area and getting more organized... maybe having somewhere to properly store my clothes...
I could get into 3D printing and CNC again... that's what I was into...
I'm looking up if there's anything more "slow burn" or low dose antipsychotic like to go with lithium orotate but can't find anything other than like magnesium which I'm already getting some of that...
Maybe I just need to learn to regulate myself lol...
Good that I exercised...
Already went in a little too deep before exercising anyways... :(. Need to slow down...
#blog
I realize I am moving too fast doing too much too soon ordering pills n sht on Amazon...
I feel good and exercise well because of the changes I've been making gradually but now the pace may be accelerating too fast...
I'm not completely 'stable' right now and spending too much money online is a sign of that...
But I'm hungry. I'm hungry for knowledge and to figure my brain and body, maybe life too out...
But I don't have infinite resources or time to mess and and then try to fix it... that's kinda a problem... I'm already running into this problem...
I might need to slow down and find something else to do... this stuff is a little too exciting for me...
And I'm driving myself a little crazy with social media and AI...
Those things'll do that and that's something to watch for...
Maybe i need to find something else to do like take a class at community college... not commit to a degree or anything but a single class, maybe two could help... that way I'm doing something in person... slower paced...
Or I need to find something to do...
Rather than driving myself crazy talking to ai and social media and spending too much online about things to put in my body that the ai says is safe but who knows if the ai knows what its talking about or if I know... (when im already sorta functioning just bored enough to want to spend all my time talking to the AI and even build an AI workstation not knowing where that's gonna lead me...)
I wonder what I could do... don't really wanna go to church... I learned from social media that there is such thing as a 'kpop rave' in sacramento but who knows how safe that is really...
If I don't have anything to do then how do I regulate myself? Stop myself from spiraling...
Well I could code... that has the advantage of potentially getting me a job...
That's sorta the path I'm going down more and more already... I can just get out of control and having just ran I see how that was starting to happen...
I'm starting to have the impulse to start remodeling my space...
Starting by moving where I sleep then clearing out the whole center area and getting more organized... maybe having somewhere to properly store my clothes...
I could get into 3D printing and CNC again... that's what I was into...
I'm looking up if there's anything more "slow burn" or low dose antipsychotic like to go with lithium orotate but can't find anything other than like magnesium which I'm already getting some of that...
Maybe I just need to learn to regulate myself lol...
Good that I exercised...
Already went in a little too deep before exercising anyways... :(. Need to slow down...
#blog