Well ok this all works now, which means that all my posting presence is a decent approximation of self-hosted (for varying degrees, I'm not hosting a bsky webapp and I don't know that there'd be a real benefit in doing so at this point)

Mastodon: Self hosted
Blog: Self hosted
Email: Self hosted
Bsky: PDS is self hosted

And backups on two continents so I'm sure this will all be entirely fine

@mjg59 joke's on you. self-hosted e-mail can only post to Google recipients 30% of the time
@joshua Ah yes that's why my outbound email goes via Google
@mjg59 I never figured out how to do that without assigning Google my entire domain to be a MX also? how did you get them to do that? currently I use MailRoute as my outbound relay (and as my inbound MX as well, since their spam filtering is really much better than I ever achieved with dspam/spamassassin), which gets me up to like 40% of the time, but that is a lot less than 100%
@joshua https://knowledge.workspace.google.com/admin/gmail/advanced/route-outgoing-smtp-relay-messages-through-google with an oauth token set up for a workspace domain and "Allowed senders" set to "Any addresses". Had to do site verification for my envelope domain, but MX points at me.
Route outgoing SMTP relay messages through Google  |  Set up & manage services  |  Google Workspace Help

Google Workspace Help
@mjg59 the "any addresses" option is absolutely wild. "sure, ok, we'll relay anything without specific permission from that domain to be used by this google account, I guess". I didn't think anything about their e-mail posture could make me madder but there we go. anyway, thanks for the tip -- I think I can use my accelerated.tech account for this
Accelerated Tech, Inc.

@joshua My old hosting had pretty much 100% success in delivery after I fixed some IPv6 bullshit but now I'm on a residential IP fronted by OVH I didn't have a lot of faith
@joshua Oh yeah I ended up using my ☭.net workspace for this, obv