Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?
But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/
Truth is I don't know. Gender seems a complicated, vague concept to me, and I don't know why I feel the need to be a woman. It wasn't intentional. I never experienced any great internal revelation or certainty.
Nonetheless, evidentially, I am happier and more well-balanced as a woman. Even despite the transphobia I experience.
2/
I don't generally "feel like a woman". I feel like me.
But, like, do you understand that for decades before I transitioned I was fantasising about, pining for, the idea of having a female body, of being recognised as a woman, going thru life as one?
I tried to stoically accept that I was a man, I tried to embrace non-traditional masculinity, I tried everything to make this need go away. It didn't.
So I have to conclude, this is something real.
3/
@Tattie when I was 18 I read the Dune books. The face dancers led me to think seriously about how it would feel to have a female body instead of a male one.
I thought it would be awesome to be able to change my body type. I was vaguely aware of trans people, but had no interest in being a woman. I just wanted to be able to have a female body sometimes.
Thirty years later, I realised I'm non-binary. It would have saved me a lot of grief if I'd realised as a teenager, but the concept was unheard of (at least in my world) in the late 1980s.
All of which is to agree with you, and add that representation is important.
Tattie
Russell Phillips