So there's this dude tiger moms can pay to monkey's paw their kids... - sh.itjust.works

…and like every single one of the moms is convinced they can outpace the curse half. But like half of the kids come out as straight axe murdering psychopaths. Like the mom wishes for the kid to be a math prodigy or whatever and they decide to lower the grocery bill by murdering all their siblings. And there’s one kid that doesn’t come out murderous but he does keep setting shit on fire accidentally. He’s horribly distressed because it’s all completely accidental and no one believes him. Winds up in the hospital cuz he can’t take it anymore. Finally turns out he just has to be in the water all the time. His mom wished for him to be an Olympic athlete and he came out an Olympic swimmer not even because it made him good at it but because he couldn’t leave the water. The curse literally left his guilt in by design. Also it turns out his mother was the only person to actually pass her trial. Like they all have to do something like not eat for a month and they all snuck in a cheat meal or whatever because somehow they thought the curse wouldn’t “catch them” or something. Hers was literally to sit in an empty underground room in a chair for three days and not even touch the floor or have help from anyone and she actually legit did it. This fever dream is brought to you by me running out of clonidine. You’re welcome.