Sounds like a DEI hire.

He was born in… Canada!!! My god. What have we done.

Ted “my father was imprisoned and tortured in Cuba. I hate communists. it was actually Batista who tortured my dad” Cruz

note for readers unfamiliar with the history of Cuba:

Batista was the US-backed dictator who was defeated by the Cuban Revolution

Makes sense, how else would you expect the Vodiac Killer to evade capture?

Canadian here. You have my sincere apologies.

Not even a beard can make him look cool.

Cruz is the answer to the question “what if an infected ass pimple became human?”

I stand by what got me banned from Twitter the first time; man would be smarter if he had lead for brains than he is now.

Man’s résumé sounds like a random character generator 😭

“Ted Cruz is like wolverine if instead of metal claws three flaccid penises extended from his hands.”

 

I wish I could recall where I first saw that, but it will live in my head forever.

Aside from ‘representing country of Israel’, that should read as a compliment to what the US is supposed to stand for.

Shame it’s the opposite, but that’s on them.

Bro sounds like he should be on an ICE list.

There was a time that such an immigrant coming to represent a nation of immigrants would have seemed so right.

Context matters.

Is the hats thing diminutive? I don’t want to continue accidentally insulting people if so.

Mr. Worldwide

Fixed that for you!

Only in the summer. In winter he goes to Mexico.

How has such an unlikable man made it so far? Maybe I need to change my strategies, sorry friends it’s time for hatemaxxing

You must understand that he requires the pressure to live. If that thing ever stops being the more unrepentant asshole to have ever lived, the outward pressure of his barely constrained sheer fucking awkwardness would no longer be balanced out, causing him to explode in a shedendreudenstrom of impossible proportions.

On behalf of all Canadians, thank you Texas for taking that bullet.

whole state of Texas is “Leopards at my face” on this.

More like ass hat

And that’s not even counting the hats he gets when vacationing during natural disasters.

How the fuck do they keep electing him! All I hear is how everyone hates him.