dandelionhow are you referred to by others (e.g. "buddy", "friend", "ladies", "dear", etc.)?
TheLeadenSeaMy driving instructor was the only person who I can think of pre transition who called me anything specific, he called me “lad”, which I told him multiple times I didn’t like and he kept ‘forgetting’ and using it anyway :(
I’ve gotten called “that woman over there” (a conversation I overheard), and to my face, Miss and Ma’am. I also get the “ladies” thing when with others, haha!
yay, we’re ladies 👏 👏 👏
pre-transition I was mistaken for a girl from behind once and called “miss” by a customer (which caused mixed feelings for me)
but mostly pre-transition I had typical boy and man experiences: “he”, “sir”, “dude”, “bro”, etc.
post-transition it is more typical of a young woman, lots of “miss”
when I was visibly trans or people knew I was trans, I would get a lot of “they” (even though I don’t like being referred to as “they”, particularly when it indicates discomfort or uncertainty from a cis person), or people just not using gendered language for me (I think a lot of this is an attempt to be polite in the face of ambiguity about my gender - they don’t want to offend).
Ohh i just call all people who haven’t told me othereise “they” to avoid assumptions, even if their gender is ‘obvious’, I hadn’t considered people might not like that …
ah, to be clear I don’t think that’s what’s going on in my situation; though it is a good point that always using neutral “they” could cause some dysphoria for some people who actually care about being seen as their gender (like, if you did that to me now I may or may not start to feel insecure, like wondering if you clocked that I’m trans or if you’re just a liberal, etc.)
I’m talking about an average cis person who isn’t trying to be politically correct, who knows I identify as a woman and uses she/her pronouns, but who uses “they” anyway because I’m visibly trans.