Jasper6d ago

So it turns out I live in a GoOd vIBeS OnLy house.

"We don't need to talk about this, we have already talked about this over a year ago".

"Okay..? But now the constellation of the group has changed, don't you think we should then talk about it again?"

"No".

Ouch, even 'cool progressive' people don't want to do the work it actually takes to live together. Sure, it's gonna feel uncomfortable from time to time, but talking about our needs and making a group decision is so very necessary.

It's hurtful because I get painted as this difficult person who takes up space and forces others to accommodate only my needs. No, that's not my point. I can also accept decisions that are not my preferred outcome. I keep saying that I need to know the needs and preferences of everyone and that as a group we need some foundation to feel good, take responsibility and yes hold each other and ourselves accountable. Is that too much to ask? Apparently.

Show threadPuntarella

@jasper ooouch, not nice. Hope this is not how it's gonna stay.

(The irony with 'good vibes only' situations: soon you will accumulate enough 'bad' vibes to make all 'good vibes' disappear ...)

Mar 26 at 8:29amWeb
Show threadJasper6d ago

@puntarella Yes, exactly. Resentment builds slowly over time. I hope it's gonna change, I try to calmly explain the process and its importance, and I try to get the others to this level of communication. Some are open to it! Others "don't understand why we have to talk about this" and some flat out say they don't want to take more time to do this work at all.

"If you have these needs, maybe you shouldn't live in a WG."

My take: "If you don't want to do the work, maybe you shouldn't live in a WG."

We'll see.