I love bell hooks' definition of 'queer':
Queer as not being about who you're having sex with - that can be a dimension of it - but 'queer' as being about the self and that it is at odds with everything around it and has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.

@sashag my main reason for using 'queer' is that young people on here use it as an alternative way to say to 'LGBTQIA+' and I have picked up the habit

its one of those terms that's been 'reclaimed' by the community. some people were called it as an insult and have no desire to use the label, so one should always tread carefully, particularly with elders