@Willow I have memories of transformation fantasies from age 8 (maybe 7) that in hindsight were clearly signs. These kept up as I moved into puberty and college. I wrote them off as a fetish, even though looking back it’s obvious I’ve always been a lesbian.

In college I remember saying typical cis guy things to friends like, “it’s not like I could change my DNA, so yeah couldn’t be a woman”. 🤣

I ALMOST figured it out just post college in the early 2000s. Some allergy meds caused me to have panic attacks, but I thought the cause had to be some dissatisfaction with my life. Did a bunch of introspection, including considering and dismissing the idea of being a gay guy, since women are what I’ve always noticed. I never made the leap to wanting to both be and be with women.

Cue another 15-20 years of depression and repression.

My egg finally cracked when reading a random Reddit thread and a commenter related experiences similar to what I’d had at 8, and how that clued them in to being trans. I then spent 6 years trying to figure out how to handle this and keep my marriage. I managed it, but only because my wife is a wonderful person, and eventually realized she falls somewhere under the term queer.

2-ish years ago I started presenting full time and using my preferred name. And just over a year ago I FINALLY started HRT. Best decision of my life.