TaylorSwiftsHemorrhoidMe after 3 shots of vodka
The good news is my bra is off. The bad news is my manboobs are sagging and the conversation in the room turned awkward.
MinnesotaGoddamare they going to let you back into the Golden Corral?
The manager said “no” called me “vibe killer” as he escorted me out and locked the door behind me.
A meth-head said “welcome to the club” and invited me to IHOP, so, not a total loss.
the good ihop or the one out back the mall?
Yeah. That one.
would you tell Cranessa I said “Where’s my $10? Gimme my $10” thanks