DoomsdaysCW

@autistics

So, I used to drive from Maine back to where I grew up in Massachusetts once or twice a year (80 miles one way, 160 miles round trip, on the highway). I would visit the family graves, hike a small hill with a scenic view, hang out by a river, and visit other places that hold memories for me.

But, because of all the asshattery on the road, I stopped doing that a few years ago.

Every once in a while, I think about driving down again. But then I drive just 20 miles to work (or even a few miles to the store), or take a short jaunt down the highway, and realize that people are still asshats, and my tolerance for that has gone down to "zero". ("Paige Rage" followed by days of recovering from the stress). Unfortunately, I have issues with taking a bus or train that far (what if I want to leave and go home? And yes, I've been stranded before.), and I don't like not being the one driving (and yet, now I hate driving).

However, I've been finding places locally that remind me of home... The nearby river, beaches, high spots where I can see for miles, graves of ancestors and distant relatives, cool old houses...

I guess the point I'm making is that since my mask has dropped, I can't just disassociate and act like folks aren't asshats -- especially after being involved in two accidents that weren't my fault. I'm wondering if other autistics have similar issues. I know I used to LOVE driving, but now I dread it (unless I'm the only one on the roads, which doesn't happen very often).

Mar 23 at 3:12pmWeb
Show threadDoomsdaysCWMar 23
@autistics So, this is what triggered today's rambling post... This painting by Claude Monet reminded me of a scene back in Newbury, Massachusetts. And yeah, there are plenty of places nearby in Maine that evoke those scenes. I just need to find and capture them (in photos and art).
Show threadMelissaMar 23
@DoomsdaysCW
I'm not autistic, but my favorite students were....for me, I can't shake some grief-fed rage. I'm OK with trains etc., (more so in Europe!) but I have a hard time ignoring asshole drivers! And not enough dis-incentives! U.S. police could write so many tickets etc!!
I lost a favorite pedestrian library patron long ago to an accident, then a pedestrian good friend was killed by a car, then early pandemic behavior...and now I'm livid. I try to not voice it much.
@autistics
Show threadDoomsdaysCWMar 23
I'm so sorry to hear that. I saw a friend get hit by a car when I was a kid (it was right after she got off the school bus), @mtechman . I didn't even think about indirect trauma, but that's totally a thing! @autistics
Show threadHernanLGMar 23

@DoomsdaysCW

I have no advice for you. I just wanted to express solidarity. Cars suck, drivers are dangerous, and the fact cities and countries are built around cars is just...sad.... I'm lucky enough not to need a car for my daily life, and I decided many years ago I wouldn't do things that require cars. My vacations are always local. I do not live in the US though. I know like they're without a car is practically impossible. I hope you find a way

Show threadDoomsdaysCWMar 23

@HernanLG Yeah, sometimes I miss living in the city (especially in a quiet neighborhood). There are a lot of cool things I can walk to around here, but since there is no sidewalk, it's almost impossible in the winter. I am grateful there is a grocery store, hardware store and pharmacy within a couple of miles, and a library, a weed store, a local farmstand, a lovely river, a cemetery (with cool old graves), and lots of walking paths (including one with a scenic lookout on a hill), all within walking distance! I wish there were more. Years ago, there was a lot more going on, but a big flood took out a lot of the village near the river in 1936, which is too bad.

And yeah. Even on the road I live on, there are speeders (speed limit is 25, and folks drive 40-50mph).

But on the other hand, hearing all the different birds, having woods and meadows to explore... When I lived in cities, I would always been seeking out spots with nature.

So, yeah. You're absolutely right. Cars suck, drivers are dangerous, and, well, local vacations are nice too.

Show threadHernanLGMar 25
@DoomsdaysCW
Glad to see/read you can still see and enjoy the good things in (your) life
Show threadPomegranate Pirate 🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️Mar 23
@DoomsdaysCW Not autistic, but my partner is. Driving does suck more than it used to—- too many people on the road near us, and MORE asshats. Seriously. The last two years have been worse. I drive, he doesn’t. We prefer to get out of our city and go north towards smaller towns and nice one lane country roads. Big city driving, ugh. So no San Francisco sadly. I loved the greater Boston area and the T. If I ever had to drive downtown (to pick some one up after work) OMG I would be in tears and a nervous wreck. Asshats and careless drivers though, take the cake.
Show threadDoomsdaysCWMar 23
@Pomegranatepirate You know, I even found statistics to back up observations of how "driving does suck more than it used to." Smartphone distraction (even with older folks), and apparently Covid lockdowns started fueling some sort of Mad Max 'tude in some places (like the US).
Show threadPomegranate Pirate 🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️Mar 23
@DoomsdaysCW ‘tude and entitlement. I use some bad swear words when I see bad driving now. I really don’t know why people make dangerous moves with out space, turn signals—-common curtesy. I keep thinking about (from my partners storytelling) what happens to overcrowded rats. :( fuck me. We have security, healthcare, and a green sanctuary at home, but we live in a city. moving to the country is not likely, even though we both crave nature and fewer people.
Show threadDoomsdaysCWMar 23
@Pomegranatepirate And yeah, hubby and I used to drive down to Boston a few times a year (for family visits, musuem visits and concerts). Now we just go to concerts and museums nearby, and if the family wants to see us, they come up to Maine.