MBP 2012 recovery mode installs macOS 10.8, which can’t connect to much of anything any more.

10.15 is the latest that is compatible with the hardware. OK. Installer needs 10.9. Sigh.

10.9 installer can’t verify itself and refuses to run. FFS.

I guess I have to try going up each version in turn until one works?

All this to check if the battery works in macOS.

Apple. It Just Works.

10.12 installer was readily available from Apple and seems to be working better...

https://support.apple.com/en-us/102662

How to download and install macOS - Apple Support

Download and install current or previous versions of the Mac operating system on compatible Mac computers.

Apple Support
10.12 installed and connected to the App Store OK ... which allows me to run the 10.15 installer...
Aside: I wonder if 10.8 or 10.9 didn’t work because I didn’t sign in to my Apple account? The errors didn’t suggest that but it’s Apple so you never know.
Progress…
I preferred macOS when it looked like this.

And, after all that, the battery is still kaput. It flicks between “X”, 0% and 100% charged in macOS, and the laptop switches off as soon as the mains is disconnected.

So it’s just a coincidence both Mac batteries expired while in storage? Arse. I say again, ARSE.

@nivrig An expensive non-mobile device.
@nivrig It’s not a specific Apple issue, storing a lithium battery without charging over an extending period can get them into a state where they are effectively dead. I do believe there are issues with voltage leakage in Apple batteries
@neilkerr Thanks, I was just reading about that as it happens :/ TILE - Today I Learned (Expensively)
@nivrig This is the excuse you were looking for to ifixit!
@RobeeShepherd Oh it's been dismantled a few times already. What I really need is an excuse to buy an M5.
@nivrig I need another month of monies 🤣
@nivrig last decent OS which run on mu MacBook.