Mastodawn

A few weeks ago I decided I was tired of having bad clothes because I hate shopping (I have a lot of issues with shopping for female clothes, mostly related to gender and overstimulation in shops)

I have decided I will never, ever be the sort of person who enjoys searching for clothes in a store or worse, trying them on. As an autistic person, it makes me want to cry. I just cannot do it. I like the idea of thrift stores, but I don’t like clothes enough to tolerate the search.

That’s all made me feel very negatively towards clothes.

Recently I decided to think about this as a topic I literally don’t know anything about. To research it and do it in a different way for myself. I measured every part of my body, wrote it down in a note, so I can refer to it.

I put together a plan for a capsule so I don’t have to worry about matching. I got a bunch of things from good quality stores online, carefully and deliberately. I know I can return them but I prefer not to. Anyway; everything fits and everything is exactly what I wanted.

I’m very happy with this!

I hate everyone who’s ever tried to force me into believing that shopping for clothes and trying on clothes in a shop was something I should like, because of gender. You were all wrong

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Adrianna Tan 2d ago

What worked for me was thinking about what works for me in cameras, electronics, computers.

Bicycles. I know I have a certain taste, I just couldn’t articulate it with clothes.

I like good quality, well made items. I do not care for trendy, poor quality things. Ever. I like steel bikes, I like old cameras. I care about function. Things that are thoughtful and functional bring me joy.

I tried to apply that to my choices here. When I could finally apply those things (I also feel like in Singapore there was a strong competitive streak around looking a very specific type of Chinese femme that I do not fit in at all), it became so much less awful to me.

I don’t think I will ever like clothes as an industry or as an idea, but I’m happy to not have a negative relationship with it anymore

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Adrianna Tan 2d ago

I feel like society has tried to imprint in women or femme people things that we should like. We should like getting a bikini wax. We should wear shoes that make us break our feet. We should like wearing clothes with no pockets, that barely fit, that fall apart. We should not wear the same clothes, not even twice. It’s such a bizarre and horrid way of perceiving the world. I feel sorry for people who believe they have to live like this. Props to them if they like it, but no thank you

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b 2d ago

@skinnylatte I grew up with the "pain is beauty" mantra which completely messed with my mental health and self-worth. I hate that a lot of beauty rituals feel like punishments

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May Likes Toronto 2d ago

@b @skinnylatte I feel like embracing tomboyness and comfy-core early on helped a lot with preventing all the gendered discomfort.

Also being scent sensitive meant that I'd never venture into a beauty department willingly. Worked out.

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@mayintoronto @skinnylatte Yup, this is the reason why I embraced being alt (other than just naturally gravitating to it already). It also felt empowering to reject all that nonsense once I reached a certain age.

As soon as I learned girls could shave their heads, I did that lol