Alternate lede:

Tom Homan, the top White House border official, scrambled Sunday to carry out an impulsive order by Trump to use ICE agents at airports “to do security like no one has ever seen,” despite their lack of training for the work currently done by officers of the Transportation Security Administration.

He admitted he had no idea what the ICE agents would actually do.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/22/us/politics/ice-airports-homan-trump.html?unlocked_article_code=1.VFA.FktN.oBFmz5LzrhD5&smid=url-share

ICE to Help TSA at Airports Amid Partial Shutdown, Trump’s Border Czar Says

Tom Homan, President Trump’s chief border official, cast the operation largely as one to help ease long security lines. The Homeland Security Department said 14 airports across the country would be involved.

The New York Times
@gleick That settles it. ALL my dildos & vibrators will travel with me in a carry-on "to do security like no one has ever seen" for all future flights until further notice.
@DrSaucy @gleick Do report back on how well that goes.