Early glimmers of a half-formed thought 🧵 :
Common advice given to girls embarking on dating is that you shouldn't depend on the boy you're dating for anything, e.g. have enough money to pay your own way even if he said he's paying, have a plan to get home safely independently, etc.
(I'm not in-touch enough to know whether this advice is also given to boys embarking on dating, or to girls who are dating non-boys)
This is good, practical, pragmatic advice.
But we should add something to it:
Not getting you home safely, not being reliable about paying when they said they would, etc., is not the behaviour of a person who likes you.
And someone who wants to date you should be behaving as though they like you.
I received that advice constantly as a teen, as well as more future-looking advice about how you should always be able to financially support and run every aspect of your household in case your husband turns out to be a deadbeat.
(I'm old, so all relationship advice I received as a teen was heterocentric)
From this, I concluded that this unreliability was the price of admission for dating, and I'd have to put up with it if I didn't want to die an unkissed virgin.
Impudent Strumpet